Basketcase

This morning:

Me: Morning, dad
Dad: Hi sweetie, how'd you sleep?
Me: Pretty well, what about you?
Dad: I'm going to take your sister's kids to school
Me: What?
Dad: You too, honey. I'll see you later.
Me: Are you coming back soon?
Dad: Ok, I will

I think it's not a good idea to talk to my dad when he's rushing out the door in the morning, but it explains my behavior:

Me (2pm): Hey, sorry I didn't call before, but I've had a really busy day.
Mom: Yeah, would you like to explain why your hair and makeup looked amazing, but you were wearing a tank top and gym shorts when you ran out the door this morning? Who'd you have a date with today?
Me: Hahaha.... I had an interview, mom, an interview.
Mom: Nice of you to tell me.
Me: I'm telling you now, right? And that's all that matters. . . :)

She will be loved

I had a horrible week, but I've had an incredible weekend. It has nothing to do with going out, either. The closest I came to doing something social was watching a movie last night at the house (in baltimore) with my "everything" and her boyfriend. At the same time, I had one of those IM conversations that I only have once every few months with an old friend.

It's incredible how sometimes you can have a friendship that runs so deep, where every word that you share is an expression of who you are. It's even more powerful in person, when that one look provides such meaning and you understand your friend better than ever before. I've only had this experience with my 3 best friends, and it's incredibly moving. I'm mesmerized right now by the power of words, the complexity of communication, and the strength of love.

When Rich (the boyfriend) found out I'd had such a tough week, he decided that I should get a group hug. So Jenn (my everything b/c she's my friend, roommate, class mate, co-Justice, and sometimes mom 2) hugged me first, and then he did. After she went upstairs to bed, Rich and I stayed up watching Good Will Hunting and he said something that stirred something in my heart:

Life is really simple. It's all about people. Who cares about money? You can have all the money in the world, but if you don't have people then what is it worth. You just have to learn to be happy with who you are and enjoy the company of who you're with.

That's all. I know it, but it's a great thing to hear every once in a while when you get caught up in the stress of everyday life.

I'm blessed. I'm loved by more people than I can really handle to love back, and I'm grateful for every single expression of love that comes my way. Off to church with the family. . . and to enjoy the people who have stood by me and will never let me down.

Happy Sunday! :) . . . . footballllllllllllllllllllllllll sunday, too. :p

Gotta get away

The past two weeks have been horrible. Too much going on with school, family, friends, and stuff. . . yes, stuff. That's the worst part.

So, I'm taking a break from everyone. We'll see how long this lasts, though. I have to see some people tomorrow for another leadership training session (haven't they heard of natural leaders?!?) and then I may have to go out for a while. Other than that, I left Baltimore and have been alone since yesterday afternoon. I just need to get my life together again because I've been a super bitch lately. I don't like being tired, stressed, and unhappy.

Which brings me to the topic of guys. (no there really isn't a logical connection) What's wrong with them? I understand how devastating rejection can be. I really do. I feel awful when I have to tell a guy that I don't want to date him. (It makes me feel awful) But what about the ones who should know that I like them?

One of my friends tells me that I'm a guy killer, and that he is scared for anyone who tries to date me b/c I'll eat them alive if they try anything. Yeah, I told a guy this summer that I'd hit him if he kissed me, but really. . . that's only because I knew he was a player. I can't just go around dating every guy that has some interest in me. People should know better.

So about these guys that I would date. . . they don't ask me out! I hate to say that I'm intimidating, because I'm really not. Once I get to know someone, I'm incredibly easy to get along with. Before that, yeah, I can seem stuck up. *sigh*

Being sick is bad. I'm saying too much. Time for another 4 hour nap. Being awake for 40 minutes has taken its toll on my brain.

Undone

I'm wearing a pink and white shirt. Somehow there is a lime green thread sticking out of it on my sleeve. This can be likened to my life:

Everything seems perfect and pretty and then there is that annoying little thread that you want to get rid of, but if you do, you'll destroy the goddamn shirt.

What?!?! Even I don't understand what I'm saying.

Yeah, see previous post on being psychotic.

Ps-another warning: I've talked to 5 girls in the past 12 hours who have apparently been crying. There's something weird in the air, and it's not PMS.

we are the champions (ok, not really, but still)

Yes.............. the Redskins won. I'm so happy about it, especially since I was in a horribly foul mood last night. It was so bad, that I was actually told: "you seem like you'd fuck up a butterfly that looked at you the wrong way tonight"

Yes, I can be a bitch. You boys should know better than to annoy me when the Skins are losing. This is your fair warning.

And yes, I can be a little psychotic. No jokes on the adjective "little".

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

For months, I've been thinking about respect and how important it is in any friendship, family relationship, or romantic relationship.

This week that point came to mind again and again after a few encounters with guys.

There is one that I've been trying to gain some sort of respect for lately, but he's so immature that I don't think I even want to talk to him anymore. It's truly annoying to have to wonder what game he's playing and whether he can stop with the dirty jokes for more than 5 minutes. Something that really turns me off is a guy who I can't take seriously. He's fun for a while, but then I get pissed off. Bad sign.

Another guy asked me out on a date. He is the same one who last semester made horrible comments about women in my presence until I had to ask him to stop. How am I supposed to respect a guy who thinks that hot women are only good for fucking and being the administrative tool at work? Points for telling me that I looked hot in my skirt suit, but I could never date a guy who has no respect for my intellect.

Then there is the asshole that called me at 2am during the week. What the hell was he thinking?!?!? I used to get mad because my mom wouldn't allow me to call anyone after 9pm, but now I see her point. Guys need to learn to respect that I need my sleep. Leave me the hell alone when it's time for bed.

Damn it. This post sucks. I'm just mad because I'm realizing that there is only one guy in my life that I truly and deeply respect, and I wouldn't date him nor would he date me. We're much too smart to fuck up the best friendship we have in our lives. Where are all the good guys that I know must exist? And how can I start respecting guys?

On a positive note: The complete and utter lack of respect that I had for my parents last year has completely changed into admiration and love for them, after they finally realized to respect me and my decisions. So now I just have to find the same thing with a guy so I can fall in love again and live happily ever after. *sigh* I'm so naive that it's cute, isn't it? :)

Not sure if I'll have time to post again this week. Maybe I'll vent about the inefficacies of organizations around here. What the hell do people care about anyway? Seems like there's nothing important going on in the world right now. It's all about finding a job and keeping from drowning. Why'd I sign up for this shit? Oh yeah. . . so I can get a JD and go back to my beloved Academic Technology. . .

Ps-I have to admit that there is one guy that I give credit to for being extremely respectful. Not only does he always pick me up, but he also understands my time with family comes first and that my life is incredibly busy. I probably like him because he's not obsessed with me. I really hate those guys that want to talk every single day. What's up with that?

Ok. Enough of wasting our time.

Can't Stop

As if I didn't have enough responsibility in my life, I got appointed to the Library and Technology Committee. . .

"The committee develops policies and makes recommendations to the Faculty Council on classroom technology, the use of technology on exams, technology resources for academic purpose and library resources, use and planning. The Committee will try to limit face-to-face meetings (by utilizing a new website) but often has to respond to issues as they arise, so will meet on an ad hoc basis. Past committee accomplishments include: workshops on teaching with technology; selection of computer lock-down software for exams and policies for taking exams using computers."

Sounds just like my old job at GW. . . I fucking love it. So as of now my career paths include: politics, academic technology at a law school, income tax assistance, and maybe litigation (stupid Moot Court).

Oh well, who cares? No sense in planning that far ahead. This procrastination thing has worked for me so far in life, even if it did bite me in the ass with Law Review, which actually ended up being a great thing since almost everyone I know on a journal is miserable. Haha, suckers!!! :) I may be as busy as you, but at least I like what I'm doing.

Oh, and I got tickets to see Dan Rathers on the Kalb Report as well as Jon Stewart. I love GW.

Tortura

this week is killing me. absolutely killing me. i have so much to do, and i don't know where to start. so i do a little here and a little there and then freak out over how little i'm getting done everywhere. my main concern is really the fact that i'm behind on my reading because i'm busy with Moot Court, meetings, and researching jobs.

so i'm taking Ari's advice: stop freaking out. don't read; skip class; i'll give you the outlines for whatever you need. then just take the last month of school and catch up.

beautiful. . . except i can't seem to skip class anymore. stupid conscience.

on another note: i love the fact that i can spend 2 hours studying in the ceremonial courtroom, watching Judge Roberts' confirmation hearings. again, maybe someday i'll get into politics?

Smile like you mean it

I'm ridiculously happy lately. I finished the Moot Court brief yesterday, after spending 8 consecutive hours in the library. It wasn't the best brief, but I don't care. I'll kill my opponent in the oral arguments. I've got faith, and with that I can do anything.

Not to mention the fact that I had to smile when I was served with the opposing brief. Not only was there a typo in the Table of Contents, but it's only 17 pages long. Mine was 23. :-D Yeah, I'm a geek.

I've also been waking up at 6am every day, and being ridiculously productive. I'm tired as all hell, but I love this life of mine. School is coming together; I enjoy being with Rich and Jenn at the house in Baltimore; I absolutely adore my parents; personal life couldn't be more wonderful. I have the best of everything, and I'm so blessed.

I even made it to mass on Monday morning, 7am. I love St. Jude. Here's me preaching: He is truly a wonderful saint, and his requests to him are definitely heard. Life is good. . .

some things never change

Weird weekend. I feel like I've been thrown back in time, but it's surprisingly good to know that I'm standing on my feet again. Even though right now I'm going on 5 hours of sleep and heading out of the house already, I feel like it's going to be a great day.

It's also good to see that some things never change. . . my good friends and I will always be able to pick up right where we left off, and I will always love the Redskins.

Ragnar's response to my "haaaaaaaaaaa" after his Bears lost: fuck off.

Good times.

Better together

For $40 and because of good friends like Aimee who drove and Carrie who got me into VIP sections, I had an incredible Friday night. I also ended up running into a kid from law school within 10 minutes of being there, as well as a guy that I hadn't seen since one of the MBA classes that I took umm. . . jesus, 3 years ago. Which goes to prove yet again: A) I have incredible friends who take care of me and whose company I truly enjoy B) it's a small fucking world C) time flies D) I love Jack Johnson

Red, red wine

Mom: What are you doing?
Me: I'm hanging out with some friends, and we're watching the football game. Some people are drinking, too.
Mom: Wait, where are you?
Me: At the house. Some of my friends are drinking wine though.
Mom: Wine? But you're not drinking, right?
Me: No, mom. I was too snobby to drink Woodbridge Cabernet. I was holding out for the Yellow Tail Shiraz, but it never got opened. Tell my dad he should be proud.
Mom: Well, I'm proud of you so I'm sure that he will be, too.

I love her so much, and I love the fact that on a Thursday night I was in the company of some of my best friends in Baltimore enjoying the sport that I probably love most. Good job, Brady. . . and Givens, you suck. I need a new WR, pronto! Good thing the rest of my fantasy team is solid.

Life is good. . . actually, it's awesome. Some might even say "Super!" Hahahaha..... :p

This place is a prison. . . brand new colony

I've become a slave to the law school and its activities. . . mostly of my own choosing. I became part of the International Law Society's Executive Board today. Go figure. It's just like high school when I was in charge or a member of almost every group in school. It's scary.

When I was living in Costa Rica, my sister's best friend used to call me "The Senator" because I always had something to say, and I usually convinced others to do what I wanted. I was 8 then. I've always told people that I'll never go into politics, but somehow all this involvement in organizations makes me happy and makes me wonder if maybe I wouldn't like being some kind of government leader. Yeah. . . right. Right?

Who knows what I'll do with my life?

All I know is that I've got so many blessings and resources at my hands, and I'm thankful for every minute of my busy day. . . even if it means living within the confines of a beautiful building for hours on end. Think about how pretty this place is. . . if you don't believe me, go to Fordham's Law School. It's old and dreary and it makes you feel like you're back in the 60's. School might feel like prison, but it's home for another 2 years and I'm going to take advantage of it.

By the way, why do law professors love to use the phrase "pooh pooh". Banks, Quint, Maresca, Zipursky, and now Sung. . . I don't get it.

Star 69

Last post was my 69th. I could've done something fun with that. Oh well.

Instead, I'm using my 70th to comment on a point made by some boys from the Rockville Zoo: the stupidity of blogs. I have to agree. For the most part, they're self-serving tools for people to expand on their useless ideas and hope that someone is listening. The thing is. . . you're still reading.

Go figure.

You'll enjoy this, courtesy of Brian. . . who I will definitely be punching next time we get together for all the shit he gave me about Hurricane Katrina: http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=banish

Ps-Good thing my friends have good stories to entertain me during class. See e-mail below:

I had a crappy weekend, I got a flat in my car so I took Candy’s car (C Class) to the Gator game and at 1:30am on the way home I hit a poor bobcat at 60 mph. I felt so bad, it cracked the radiator and the car started to over heat. I was in the middle of no where!!! BFE for sure. I saw a 24 hour gas station and pulled in. I called AAA and no one came until 3:00 and I did not get home until 5:00. I am sure it is at least 2K in damage, Radiator, AC condenser and air dam are all totaled. Anyway, I feel really crappy about killing the bobcat. :(

PPS-WTF is BFE?!?!?!

listen to your heart

I spent a whole hour getting ready for an engagement party on the Eastern Shore. An entire hour. . . I even wore make-up!!! Only to find out that my nephew is in town from Chicago and leaving on Monday. So screw it; I'm staying home tonight. . . again. Family comes first, and I'm too damn lazy to drive 2 hours there and another 2 back. Not to mention the fact that I spent $45.45 filling up the gas tank yesterday and without a job, that's quite a bit of money to spend.

I suppose I shouldn't complain. I have 2 homes to go to, family and friends that love me, and I'm happy overall. Poor people hurt by Katrina. . . it really saddens me and frustrates me to feel so helpless about it all. Ugh, thinking about it makes me too depressed. I'm going to take the kids out for some ice cream and be happy again. Mmm...... ice cream.

Happy Labor Day Weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here's hoping you're with your loved ones and happy!

Que Onda Guero

I'm good at getting what I want without knowing what it is that I want in the first place. Last night I went to a Treasurer's meeting, which ended up having pizza. a free meal on a day that i'd eaten a cookie for breakfast, chocolate croissant for lunch, and coffee as my only beverage was a nice surprise. then, one of my friends offered 2 tickets to the redskins/ravens game (Section 135) for free, no less. aimee was impressed by my incredible knowledge of the game, as were the guys in front of us, who actually turned around at one point to compliment me on how well i was explaining the game!!! :) i LOVE football.

and yes, be jealous. i'm a lucky bitch. i believe this is the fourth time in my life that i've gotten free tickets to a Redskins game where i'm sitting in 100 level seats. like aimee said, i'm such good marriage material. nothing like a girl with free football tickets that actually understands the game. right, boys?

wake me up when semptember ends

remember when the second years all said that things would get better, but we'd be really busy? the bastards; they knew what they were talking about.

getting up at 7am after sleeping for only 6 hours and knowing that the day holds a few hours of studying, non-stop class from 10-3, meetings 3-6, class 6-7, and then a happy hour at 9 that i have to attend for being a "justice" is not my idea of fun. being busy blows. give me back my summer!!!

*this message brought to you as a warning that i may not be in the best of moods today so be wary when you mention hurricaine katrina. i'll either yell at you for not being funny since i find it incredibly depressing or i'll cry. crying never helps anything.